Super Bowl 52 Recap & Reactions
What a game! It had everything...well except defense...well until the second to last Patriots drive. Let’s recap the game that was, hand out some superlative awards and make far too early bold predictions for next season. I've also sprinkled some of the best super bowl memes as treats throughout starting with:
Best pregame memes:
“Meanwhile at the Eagles practice facility the new maintenance guy is hard at work.”
First Quarter
The Eagles open the game by driving down the field in commanding fashion but a false start penalty at the patriots two yard line leads to settling for a field goal. Nick Foles’ run pass option tempo started strong from the first drive and was a successful theme throughout. The Patriots countered with an impressive first drive of their own but the Eagles defense stiffened and they too settled for a field goal.
From then on, until about 2:21 left in the fourth quarter defense was optional for both teams. The Eagles defense played better in the first half but the Patriots D somewhat played slightly better in the second half, maybe? On their second drive Nick Foles connected on a beautiful 34 yard touchdown pass to Alshon Jeffrey but a missed extra point made every Eagles fan and anti-Patriots fan say "here we go again." Thankfully with only 9 seconds left in the quarter New England mishandled the snap on their field goal attempt and much like the scene in 300 where King Leonidas pierces Xerxes cheek the Patriots became mortal in all eyes, their humanity and vulnerability exposed.
Second Quarter
After exchanging pointless drives the Eagles added another touchdown to extend their lead but the Patriots jumped back to within 3 with a field goal and touchdown on consecutive drives, missing their own extra point in the process. The Eagles concluded the second quarter with a seven play seventy yard drive in just a minute and a half with likely the highlight play of the first half, if not the game, if not the season! You know what one I am talking about, a direct snap to the RB3 Corey Clement who laterals to TE2 Trey Burton who throws back to a wide open Nick Foles for a touchdown. This came a couple minutes after the Patriots missed a connection from Danny Amendola to a wide open Brady on almost the same exact play. In other words Pederson calling this when he did and the Eagles executing it as well as they did was the football equivalent of Michael Keaton as Bruce Wayne facing the Joker here (Batman - 1989):
Third Quarter
At halftime I assume both coaching staffs told their defense to take a break and let the game open up a bit. Five of the next six drives resulted in touchdowns, the sixth being a field goal. The Patriots came out strong as they always do and scored a touchdown by employing the Gronkowski technique. This is a highly sophisticated method of forcing the ball to the Giant-Ogre hybrid TE which 100% of the time ends with a GRONK SMASH and that percentage held true. The Patriots employed this same strategy against the Steelers for a game winning drive earlier in the year. Then they did the same thing out of halftime two weeks ago against the Jaguars. All three drives ended in touchdowns with a Gronk spike of the football (which should have really been investigated as the true cause of deflated footballs in New England's games two years ago). Philadelphia and their backup leader were not to be undone as they too methodically moved down the field with one of their favored weapons of the evening, Corey Clement. They highlighted his versatility in the run, screen and down-field passing game. The latter of which was perfectly exemplified on the 22 yard rainbow Foles dropped right into Clement’s pot of gold. One of many spectacular throws that will likely net Foles 15-20 million extra dollars than he is worth in the impending offseason. The throw and catch were so good not even Chris “bias Pats fan” Collinsworth’s countless efforts of calling it a controversial catch and blatant hope for an incompletion could overturn the call on the field. Around this time everyone started to wonder, like this meme depicts, “who actually is Nick Foles?”
Fourth Quarter
By the start of the fourth quarter the Patriots had the momentum and had shortened the lead to 3 points. This momentum only seemed to grow when Philly had to settle for a Jake Elliot field goal to extend a shaky lead to only six points. Shaky it was, as Tom and Friends found the end zone in under five minutes on their next drive. A Gostkowski extra point gave New England their first lead of the game. Finally the shroud of inevitability had fully descended in Minneapolis all that was left was for Giselle to polish that left ring finger and for Tommy "golden boy" Brady to accept his impending second MVP honor in only 24 hours of the season. Then, Nick Foles pulled a Lee Corso "not so fast my friend". Foles engineered a 75 yard drive in 7 plays capped with the most suspenseful catch controversy moment of the year. Philly fans held their collective breath as the referees decided for once this year that a TD catch, while against the Patriots, was actually a catch. Ertz’s 11 yard touchdown stood upon review and my last likely hope for winning the prop bet of a TD being recalled by reply ended, which I was fine with by the way.
No one was resting easy though with 2:21 on the clock and a time out Al Michaels said it best, "Brady might as well have a month." However, we didn't realize that much like a hibernating bear the Eagles defense was just waking up from their long second half nap. After spending the previous 27 minutes looking winded and on empty the D-Line led by Brandon Graham summoned a surge through the Patriots o-line and swatted the ball from Brady for the first sack of the evening. The ball took a fortuitous bounce to Graham's teammate Derek Barnett and allowed the Eagles to bleed clock kick a field goal to secure an 8 point lead and sweat out the eventual fail mary on the final toss by Brady a minute later. The eagles hoisted the Lombardi trophy that Tom Brady and the Patriots seemingly fumbled away with inevitability on their side most of the night.
CONGRATULATIONS PHILLY FANS, YOUR TEAM DID IT!!!
Super Bowl Superlatives:
Best Prop Bet Win
Gatorade color Yellow/Lime Green +225 by my buddy Cory
Least Likely to Give an Inspiring Speech
Jeffrey Lurie - who’s first words to Dan Patrick were: “For Eagles fans everywhere this is for them, this is for eagles fans everywhere.” Thanks Jeff! I appreciate the repetition, the repeating of words is appreciated by me.
Most Likely to Return to the Super Bowl with a different team
My money is on Legarette Blount or Chris Long they seem to be focused on chasing the trophy which is awesome and very NBA-esque.
Funniest Super Bowl 52 commercial
I know Eli and Odell is the popular choice but I’m a big Parks and Rec fan so Chris Pratt going Andy Dwyer all over the Michelob Ultra ads as a background extra was hilarious to me. Watch part 1 & 2 here.
Best Dressed to win a “I can wear anything and within a week it’ll be considered stylish by most people cuz people are sheep and sheep are morons” bet with their rich friends
This superlative easily goes to Justin Timberlake wearing this ridiculousness. Did he change wardrobe in a Cabela’s sponsored wind tunnel?
Best play of the game
The “Eagles Special” for the touchdown in the late second quarter. This single play, while in desperate need of a cooler name, Doug, was a microcosm of characteristics that defined the Eagles team all season; unexpected, cocky/daring and executed by some second stringers who have stepped up all year. Any athlete competing at any level knows the momentum and adrenaline you feel when you call one of those trick plays and it works and no one can downgrade the value of the confidence boost it provided the Eagles too.
Time for some super early but bold predictions for the 2018 NFL season.
1) Kirk Cousins will play for (drumroll please) Washington, if they franchise tag him. If Washington does indeed tag him with hopes to recouping a high pick and saddling another team with his almost 30 million dollar contract then they deserve to be saddled with two overpaid QBs and all the controversy that comes with it. I just feel bad for Kirk if this happens I’d be happy to see him playing in Western New York, for the right price.
2) The Jaguars will be the first team to jump up to snag a QB in the April draft. Hear me out, they have to feel like they’re a franchise QB away from being a perennial contender right? They lost by 4 on a standard game winning drive in New England with Blake playing likely the best he could and mostly mistake free football in all three phases so WHY NOT go get you future QB if you think he’s in this draft class?
3) The Browns don’t take a QB with either of their top 5 picks. Not overly bold since it’s about the Brownsiest thing they could do, only slightly beating the silliness of taking a QB with both picks.
4) We finally determine what a catch is and it turns out they don’t need to use 6 pages in the rule book to define it.
5) Five of the this years playoff teams in each conference return to the playoffs next year and finally create some continuity in the postseason. Swap Carolina for Green Bay in NFC and the Chiefs for the Texans (I’m looking your way Deshaun)!
6) Deshaun Watson is going to take over the NFL. Say bye bye Brady and move aside Rodgers there’s a new superstar in the making and he’s got the heart of a champion too! You’ve seen the Russel Wilson and Rodgers escape and accuracy downfield act well Deshaun is about to make them look like Watson Lite. Hopefully Billy O’Brien doesn’t hamper the kids style a la Jeff Fisher.
7) Watson wins the MVP.
8) DraftKings buys out its main market competitors and owns the daily fantasy market by 2019 but keeps the names of the various other markets. It’s what America’s modern day monopolies are made of, dammit!
9) The Patriots don’t have a bye in the playoffs next year, mostly because:
10) Bill Belichick retires - total shot in the dark and definitively more a deep seeded dream and eternal hope than a prediction.
Enjoy the offseason - only 80 shopping days til the NFL Draft!
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