Box Office Tops and Flops for the Next Five Months
As we approach the commonly cinema rich summer box office I'm highlighting the top films and most likely flops coming out between March and July along with some wildcards that may surprise.
Upon my review of the next five months I was surprised to see that we are likely experiencing one of the weakest early summer cinema stints in recent memory. A flop rich start to the summer will hopefully leave plenty of room for improvement in August and September and rolling into fall.
The following are the five films I'm most excited to see and for which I have great expectations. They are listed in release date order.
This cinema adaptation of the Ernest Cline novel of the same name, directed by Steven Spielberg promises an eye opening view into a fictional but truly possible future for our society. The trailer gives some a preview to some rather epic looking battle scenes and an even more exciting rendering of the OASIS. If you have not read the novel I strongly recommend it for a quick 2-3 day read prior to seeing the film. The two hour and twenty minute run time should easily be enough to cover the 375 page book without mass alterations or eliminations although I am sure the clearance of the three gates will be montaged in some capacity to eliminate the redundancy of show a film within a film. I also have high hopes for an epic level soundtrack of 80's classics and hidden gems. If done correcting I am talking about a playlist that could/should rival that of the Guardians Vol. 1 (2014). Whether that happens or not we will need to wait and see but I hope it does. If all these things align it will be clear why this film belongs on the tops list.
Easily the most likely candidate for crown jewel of the box office in 2018. The next chapter in the Marvel Cinematic Universe sets the stage for our heroes' epic and possibly penultimate battle to save the Universe. Thanos, A.K.A. the last surviving member of The California raisins, sets his sights on Earth in his unending quest to complete his collection of infinity stones to place in the knuckles of his golden infinity gauntlet. Don't let the focus on jewelry deceive you, this movie will be action packed, comedy dipped, and no doubt encapsulated in cliffhanger coating. Sadly, we're likely to see some of Iron Man's nightmare come to fruition and lose an Avenger or two but thats no reason not to have fun with it; moneyline odds on the first Avenger to bite the dust:
Vision -1000
Captain America -950
Hawkeye -300
Winter Soldier/Bucky Barnes -250
Scarlet Witch -110
Black Widow +150
Spider-Man +300
Iron Man +575
Thor +700
Doctor Strange +850
Black Panther +900
Hulk +1000
But on the plus side the long awaited union of the Guardians with the Avengers will also premier so anyway you slice it, its going to be epic.
Ryan Reynolds was a pretty terrible vampire hunter and arguably a worse Green Lantern (although while everyone ripped that movie apart I truly did not hate it) but he played an almost perfect Deadpool and is spot on in the character's signature sadistic sarcasm. He reprises the role for hopefully not the final time.
This is like being the chip leader with pocket kings when the short stack decides to push all in on your big blind; you always have pot odds in your favor and even if you lose a hand at this point the game is already won. The Star Wars franchise always wins. Any film connected to it is the layup in a game of HORSE; few people miss it and those who do have only themselves to blame and experience waves of self loathing as a result. Just go see it, it’s a lock of the year!
If you need added incentive here is plenty:
Director - Ron Howard
The cast - recognize anyone or should I say everyone! Emilia Clarke, Donald Glover, Jon Favreau, Woody Harrelson, Paul Bettany, Thandie Newton!
Oh yeah and did I mention its FREAKING STAR WARS!!!
A tried and true recipe for box office success:
Combine
-1 crazy ripped Scientologist &
-2 astounding feats of human strength and agility overemphasized by masterful special effects into a overly drawn out plot line
Preheat a unique vehicular transport for a pursuit for approximately 2.5-4 minutes
Add to taste:
-1 to 3 explosions
-2 to 5 beyond predictable snappy quips from the comic relief character
-1 or 2 very hot females in varying degrees of distress
Season with ample diverse cast members throughout and place in a country outside North America for a scene or two overnight
And most importantly add one action word or secret agent sounding phrase following “Mission Impossible” for a title.
Wildcards:
-Inspired by a 1976 hijacking of a plane and the daring rescue that followed this could be a special sleeper.
-Think Jack Reacher character meets quality writing and if the twist conspiracy delivers then so should this film at the box office.
-After a 14 year hiatus Disney relaunches their newest generation of Supers, with this kind of timeline I hope at least half the film is stop motion animated. The original was a quality film for sure and this one seems focused on a stay at home dad plot that should turn gender norms on their head. I for one hope the film lives up to the aspirations of the trailer rather than being completely encapsulated in it.
This film truly almost made the top five and seems to be Kyrie Irving's latest attempt to announce himself as the new big star in the NBA (after all I don't see Steph, Bron, KD or Russ making any Hollywood cameos let along anchoring a comedy film). More power to you Kyrie, I hope this film is nothing but net...ting profits.
-Marvel's Cinematic Universe has earned our trust for the most part and I personally enjoyed Paul Rudd as Scott Lang. Coming off her mixed reviews as Tauriel in the final two Hobbit films this film will show us how well Evangeline Lilly can carry a leading female superhero role does she have the chops to compare to a Wonder Woman or Black Widow? If she does she just may steal the show if not I may go back to wishing she was still stuck on the island.
If you only watch one trailer I linked to every title on this post make it this one. Lakeith Stanfield is going to be an overnight sensation via this film if he's not already. Voice overs by Patton Oswald are sure to entertain. The original story line not to mention its timely cultural context and narrative should entertain audiences but also provide some food for thought. Honorable mention superlatives Destined to be an Action Cult Classic: Pacific Rim Uprising - March 23 Most likely to be the Fourth Ocean’s Series Movie: Ocean’s 8 - June 8 Destined to the be the fifth Jurassic Park movie where life finds a way: Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom - June 22 Most likely to piss off the 99% even more than we already are: Generation Wealth - July 20 Now for what you've all been waiting for, the worst of the worst. These films are sure to do their best in reaching the depths that bombs such as Gigli, From Justin to Kelly and Battlefield Earth. Some may gain the benefit of the doubt thanks to their star power, looking at you Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson in Ramapage. A sad commentary on the cinema industry today is how much richer this list is than those competing for the top five spots.
I saw this trailer as a preview before Black Panther and when it ended I said "Not a single thing about that looks good." I felt my judgement was confirmed when I saw the big red letters on the poster in the theater lobby "From the Director of The Fast And The Furious." I stand by my assessment.
Status Update - March 23 Didn't even watch the full trailer, didn't even watch half of it, didn't have to, its gonna suck!
I was really disappointed during previews of Black Panther when this trailer wasn't revealed as the Godzilla (2014) sequel.
-What would speed racer be like if it was less cool? More like NASCAR probably. Thrown in a washed up actor and a revenge plot and I guess you have something resembling a film.
This film's box office performance should motivate the parties involved to create "The Final Purge" next but with the plot twist that its just a solid two hours of them finding and destroying all copies of the Purge films to truly rid the world of their existence. Although I do enjoy the movie poster not so subtly hinting at the first purge occurring under the Trump administration and campaigning with it's hats (below).
Skyscraper - July 13 I'm 85% certain Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson shot this film simultaneously to Rampage. I assume the sets were side by side or maybe even on the same set and when one cast and crew took lunch or a break Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson just stayed there and the other films' cast and crew joined him and they picked back up from the previous cut. I don't even think he had a wardrobe change. Below photos: Skyscraper on left, Rampage on right - maybe different color pants but that's it.
How is it possible that Meryl Streep, Christine Baranski, Colin Firth, Pierce Brosnan, Andy Garcia and Stellan Skarsgard all lost a bet to the same psychopath who's desired payment for the lost bet was forcing them all to reprise their roles from this unmitigated disaster of stage meets silver screen like a glass of cold milk meets a warm day in the sun?
One would have thought it would take more than ten years and certainly a minor lobotomy in the least to forget the nightmare that was this film's prequel. I certainly wish I never had to watch this scene, it gets super weird at the 1:37 mark. I was far from digging the dancing queen as a result.
Let's all go to the movies indeed.