Off the Grid for the World Cup Final
In 2018, it's pretty hard to avoid news of all kinds. Before smartphones and constant internet connections surrounding us you had to make sure to watch news programs or read newspapers to stay informed. Now you have to make a similarly consistent effort to avoid not only those two sources but thousands of others to not know whats going on. News and updates come from everywhere around you including texts, emails, Snapchats, Instagram posts, Facebook shares, and so many more things and they're all accessible with a tap or two on the screen of the device in your pocket (even if it's some weird device like a droid). As great as all this access and non-stop spread of information can be it would be rather difficult to avoid hearing something you may not want to or prefer to wait to find out, such as the score of the World Cup final; and I'm going to find out just how difficult, this Sunday.
As I'm traveling home to NC from NJ on Sunday I will not be able to view the final live, well not without eating well over my data limit to stream it. Since I am traveling its not as easy as shutting off my phone all day either, so in order to avoid hearing the result or anything about the match for almost nine hours after kickoff below are the steps I am taking beforehand:
1) Message all my family and friends who I think would message/alert me of any happenings in the game and tell them about my blackout
2) Shut off all alerts on the following apps on my phone:
-ESPN
-Yahoo sports
-Newsstand
-Gmail
-DraftKings
-Snapchat
-GroupMe
-Weather Channel (you'll read why below)
3) Remove all the sports channels from the XM radio save stations and probably have to forego listening to XM all together
4) Ensure we are on the road before kickoff
Those steps are all a great starting point but what about the less likely but fully possible happenings like shutting off Weather Channel app alerts because they might randomly drop a weather alert for Moscow to open the second half as X team trails Y team 1-0. I have also informed my wife that she'll need to do all the food ordering and gathering at our stops along the way. I will just be running into the bathroom and back out as quick as possible, likely with my fingers in my ears yelling "La, la, la, I can't hear you" lest I randomly overhear someone say "Man I can't believe France blew that game" while ordering his MTO at Sheetz or the random person in the checkout line ignoring the rules of headphone etiquette by playing the game highlights live on their phone for all to hear. XM radio poses some threats too, the last thing I want is some guest DJ for the 90s on 9 mentioning a shout out to France on their World Cup win before playing a selection from the Beauty and the Beast soundtrack. Also, I can't remember the last place I entered that did not have a TV somewhere with a channel that features a live scroll on the bottom of it. I think I'll be able to avoid most of these common but less likely scenarios, like all human beings, its the unknowns that scare me most. For example:
Will there be a random electronic billboard in rural Virginia updated with the score that I'll pass?
What if our route takes thorough a central European immigrant rich deposit of south Jersey and the streets are lined with Croatian flags and banners?
How about the McDonald's road sides being updated with "Free French Fries" signs to honor a French victory?
What if someone at a gas pump randomly mentions "man this gas is so expensive, can't wait to get one of those Tesla's tomorrow now that they're on sale since Tesla was born there and Croatia won the World Cup?
Or if Amazon puts all parachutes on sail since those were invented in Croatia too?
Also, I'm pretty bummed that the matchup is France v. Croatia because my Belgium v. England jokes were way better for this section. Here's a sample:
-What if the restaurant we eat dinner at had Belgian Chocolate Cake for dessert to honor their World Cup win?
-What if some salty Brit hired a plane to fly over the original 13 colonies to brag about England's World Cup win with a trailing banner?
-What if as a result of a Belgian win the cost of Limburger cheese skyrockets and I happen to get a huge investment opportunity update via my Acorns investment app?
-When England wins and decides Harry Kane's union with his Golden Boot will be the third Royal wedding of the decade and even the E! channel is covering it?
-Belgian waffles raining in the streets becomes every meteorologist's joke about their World Cup win?
-Some pseudo celebrity's tweet about England's "Give me Lingard or give me death" goes viral as a tag to the midfielder's winning goal.
-"Hazard-ous Waste Signs" for roads ahead start popping up on Waze from contributing user who want to alert everyone that Eden Hazard wasted several open chances to score for Belgium.
-Boris Johnson is finally revealed as the British familial lineage of Donald Trump when he tweets "See I told you things would get better if we left the EU!" (scroll down to the picture and try to convince me they're not the same guy with a different hair and makeup crew because I won't believe you!)
Possibly the worst part about this media blackout effort is that there will be collateral damage. I ran a bracket pool for friends and family and so they'll all have to wait until Monday to get their final results since I am not going to be tallying points until after I watch the final. The other collateral damage is that at the end of long 10 day traveling trip from away from home I'm going to walk into the house and start watching a soccer game when I'm sure my wife will want to just go to sleep and our little daughter will be full of energy from being stuck in a car all day and want nothing to do with sleep. So in light of not only the staggering odds against me pulling this blackout off but making it through the trip safely wish me luck! Oh and also, enjoy viewing the final in real time!
Finals Picks: (Picks in Bold)
I can't see Croatia overcoming France's scoring power (even though that's what I'll be rooting for) but if France gets an early advantage and tries to park the bus they could be in trouble. Croatia has shown a distinct ability to play the comeback role to perfection. Meanwhile, in the second loser match I think England is more motivated to end on a high note than Belgium. I like the reverse of what one would typically pick in the Over/Under picks. I think France get complacent if they score first, if Croatia score first the over 2 should hit easy. The third place game has had at least three goals scored in it since 1974 when Poland won 1-0 over Brazil. Its typically seen as a throw away game almost like a friendly so teams tend to play open not feeling much is at stake one way or the other. Thanks to both teams' goalies playing above their bar I see a 1-1 game with an overtime win to England that also secures Harry Kane the golden boot.
France -.5 Croatia - Over 2
Belgium -.5 England - Under 3
Current record: 13-13-4 (8-8 match; 5-5-4 O/U)